Torn Apart
by Lily Morin
Summary: Separated, torn apart to live their lives alone. Neither one can move one, and neither one can stop hoping, stop waiting, stop wishing. And both are alone, always and forever. Song fic to My Immortal. One Shot


-o- Torn Apart -o-

It was raining; the heavens had opened up as she stood on the beach, watching the water crash into the shore. She didn't mind the rain, welcomed it in fact. The shock to the system was good, she could _feel_ it, even if it was a little painful, at least it wasn't the dull nothingness that had followed her around for months now.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears_

She turned just slightly and closed her eyes and she could see him. Just a glimmer of the memory, but he was there, standing on the beach with her. She could almost reach out and touch him. She raised her hand to run in down his jaw and her eyes snapped open. He was gone, always gone, just a ghost of another life.

_And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave_

She woke most nights to his voice whispering in her mind. Her eyes brimming with the tears she would not let herself cry. She would get out of bed and walk silently to the kitchen and make tea. It had always helped her sleep, but now, the silence in this house was deafening. She missed the steady hum of a ship, the way it seemed to rock her to sleep at night.

She could almost swear she heard footsteps, as she always had when she'd woken in the night; he never let her drink her tea alone. He always seemed to know when she needed a moment, just the two of them, even if they were just silent, he was there.

She looked down at the phantom hand as it brushed hers and she pulled it in close to her body. She pulled the kettle off the stove before it whistled and she poured it slowly into her cup. She just wished she could move on, let go. But he was with her, always.

_'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

He was use to traveling alone; he did it now and then. And, after _her_, it just seemed harder to pick someone up. It was too much work to pretend he wasn't braking on the inside. Alone there was no one to ask what was wrong. He had asked Donna, more out of habit then want, and she had sensed it.

Saving the worlds just didn't seem the same now. Running for his life was different when there was no one to offer his hand to in the run. She had taken so much with her, his light had gone out. She had brought him back from the brink, lit up his world and made him see that everything wasn't over, life would go on.

But now, it didn't seem as though it would. Not when every time he turned around he expected to see her, standing by the chair a sarcastic smile on her face. Ready to face whatever monster was on the other side of the door. And it broke his hearts every time she wasn't standing there.

He had lost people before, to many to think of, but there was just something, something about her that prevented him from bottling it up and moving on. Something about the way she smiled, the way she held her head high even when they thought they might die. She had something no one else had, and not having her was burning a hole right through him.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

They both looked to the stars at night, when they could. Both wishing there was a way, both dreaming of the past. Neither of them dwelling on the future, a future neither of them wanted. And they both waited, waited for the day to come, the day when he would find a way, break through. She knew it must be out there, if he just looked hard enough. He knew it must be out there, if she just waited long enough. They both cried at night.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

That first night trapped in a new world had been hard, but ever night since then had gotten harder and harder for her. There was no one there, a smile in the morning when she'd had a nightmare about what they'd done the day before. There was no one to hold her hand when the light faded around her just a little on a bad day, or when the bad guys won some small battle. No one to smile and tell her they would be ok, no mater what.

No one to hold her had, whether running for her life or a stroll through a world frozen over. The world felt empty, void of any meaning. And it was only getting harder.

_And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

It was hard, because she still loved him. Years later and she still loved him, still longed for him, still woke with his name on her lips. She longed for the late nights when he would talk to her, telling her about so many worlds and so many people. Now when she woke it was from dreams of being torn away, thrown into a world she didn't know, without him.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

All she could see when she slept, was him. All she could hear was his voice in her head, all she could feel was his hand in hers. Sometimes, when she woke, she ached for that world, where he could hold her again, when she slept and dreamed.

_Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me_

It was hard, he didn't sleep much, but when he did he saw her. No one understood, so no one stayed long with him. He couldn't blame them, they couldn't take her place, no one could. They tried though, and so did he. He tried to laugh, tried to smile, tried to joke. He moved on, as much as he could. He let people in, but never like her, he always kept them at arms length, never too close.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

Sometimes he felt as though he'd been turned off, that he walked and talked, but life was over. It felt as though someone had taken away his hearts, like they were where she was.

_This pain is just too real_

He wasn't surprised that it was an almost physical pain, he ached for her so much. There was nothing, his life was empty, and he wasn't moving on.

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

She sometimes wondered if it would ever be ok. But she knew, something's you can't forget. Something's were with you to the end. So sometimes, she wished that end would find her just a little quicker.__

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

Everyone around her told her to move on, that he was gone. But no one really knew, he wasn't gone, he was right there, just on the other side of a white wall.

He told himself to let her go, that she was gone. But there was no inch of his body that really believed that, so he couldn't let go. Not when, someday, someway, there might be an answer.

_But though you're still with me_

And so they both waited, their hearts shut off to the rest of the worlds. They hoped, but it faded with each passing day.

She worked, helping keep peace in her world. She was keeping her mind on things that didn't require any heart, mindless work that kept her from really thinking. Wondering where they would be right now, if only.

He worked, saving the day, even after he lost her. He couldn't save her after all. She was alive but she wasn't with him, and he knew, without a doubt it was killing her, slowly, but still, killing her.

The whole world surrounded them both, and yet, without the other, they were alone

_I've been alone all along_

A/N- Ok, I know, how depressing right? But I was on my way home and this song came on, and well... So I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think. And I'm almost done with chapter two of Time Unending, promise. :-)


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